quiet around here


Posted on January 29th, 2009 by John.
Categories: Our Journey, Our Journey (chronological).

Abby told me recently if we didn’t post something soon that January 2009 would be our first “empty” month since April 2007.

April 2007 – it seems like a lifetime ago.

For Christmas, I got Abby a digital photo frame, so now, on our kitchen bar, we can see a new picture of James every 15 seconds or so. We leave it on all day. After cutting out the blurry shots and the shots which weren’t that great, we have a little over 1000. Not bad for 482 days. So frequently we’ll be washing dishes or preparing a meal and see some picture of our son that just makes us smile, laugh, and or sometimes cry. In some ways it’s like he’s still with us, but without the constant glucose monitoring and tube feeding. Well, without a lot of things.

I think I mentioned before that an earlier post of mine was going to be published in a book. Well, Letters from the Waiting Room is out, and it’s a compilation of various sorts of letters or journal entries that all in some way or another deal with times of life that demonstrate the depth of the human experience. Anyway, my letter to Future John is on page 21.

As far as how “future John” and “future Abby” are doing, we’re contemplating starting a new blog. It feels very sad to leave this one, and we may continue to post here if topically it has something to do with James. But there’s going to be other stories to tell which don’t seem like they belong on sweetbabyjames.info. Abby and I are trying to read about 10-20 comments each Sunday morning. Of course, we read them as they came in, but with the volume we received shortly after James died (especially from all our new Cake Wrecks friends!) we just felt we needed to revisit them. It’s pretty powerful, and hard to get through more than about 10 or 20 in one sitting.

Sometimes we wonder if our lives will touch as many people as James’s did.


11 Responses to “quiet around here”

  1. Sharon McCathern on January 29, 2009 2:46 pm

    Your lives have touched so many, already. I love you both and pray for you. (And, in response to your Christmas card — Rod Blagojevich isn’t my fault. We moved to PA this past summer. :) )

    I check here pretty often hoping to hear how y’all are doing — it’s nice to feel like I’m still in touch with you, even if it’s mostly illusory. I pray that God will continue to shine his face on you, and give you peace, whatever is next in your journey.

  2. Ashley on January 30, 2009 12:08 am

    John and Abby- you poured out your hearts so honestly and faithfully… it was your lives that allowed James to touch so many. You are the ones who gave him his “voice”. I am as inspired by your passion and courage as I was by his indomitable spirit.

  3. Leigh Anne on February 1, 2009 11:18 pm

    I wish we had more time to visit with you guys and hear more about sweet James. I’m so sorry I missed him. I know it would have been a beautiful encounter with your precious boy. You probably won’t know this side of heaven how God has used you to bring Him glory and to remind us all of His immense care for His children. I know I have been deeply touched by His grace to you and reminded of His tender care. I am drawn to go deeper in real faith with Holy God when I read your story. Love you guys!

  4. Janine on February 2, 2009 6:57 am

    John and Abby – as much as James has touched so many lives it would have not been possible for his story to be told without your ability to put it into such moving words. The two of YOU have made such a strong impact on me and you have taught me what it means to to really have faith and love for God in all moments, joyful and sorrowful.

  5. Tam on February 3, 2009 4:00 pm

    Yes, you have. Thank you for sharing James’ story and your lives. Please post the site of your new blog! God bless you and keep you.

  6. Patty M on February 7, 2009 6:51 pm

    Glad to read something from you again!
    Keep it up. Yes, do let me know your new blog!

    Love
    Patty

  7. LM on April 26, 2009 1:24 pm

    Hello,

    I’m one of your new “cakewreck friends” and I’ve just got this to say. I spent my entire morning reading through all of your posts, in chronological order. What impresses me most is your patience with yourselves and with each other. While I know you wouldn’t necessarily post EVERYTHING, it’s still amazing to me what a good job you do of being kind to yourselves. You did the best you could with what you had, and your best is VERY good.

    A good friend of mine, and a teaching colleague, died last year of cancer. I’ve struggled since then with depression and frustration. Surprisingly enough to me, the frustration is with myself over the fact that I am grieving. It feels like I should be “over it” by now, and I’m just not.

    So, thank you for modeling for me how to be patient with the grief and patient with myself. Thank you. And yes, YOU have touched my life. Baby James has, of course, as well, but really, I would never had known about him had YOU not taken the time to blog about all the good, the difficult, and the amazing.

    You are wonderful parents and amazing Christians.

    Thank you.

    LM

  8. Crystal on April 30, 2009 3:29 am

    your both amazing parents and people….. i followed this site by way of cake wrecks and have spent the last hour just reading your posts regarding your son….. i had to stop right now because the emotion that i feel is unbearable….literally tears are falling down my face….. but the point im trying to make before this turns into a babble of words is…..you both show the most amazing love and faith….your strong good people and i am grateful to have a small glimpse into yours and james life….thank you for giving me a much needed boost in my faith….. just thank you

  9. Sharnelle on June 12, 2009 10:47 pm

    i believe you have touched just as many lives as James beacuse you were always with him, and with out you there would be no James, and he lives on in you, so while it may be his story that is touching people is it also jsut as much his story as it is yours, and how you coped and contine to cope with it.
    God bless

  10. Anil and Taheera on August 16, 2009 12:00 pm

    Angels like James and Simra inspire us and give us a different perspective in life. They always live in our hearts and are looking over us. We would like to share with you Simra’ journey with us: http://www.angelsimra.org.

    God bless

  11. Kirstin on June 22, 2010 12:30 pm

    Hi. I am a Rice alum and saw your note in the recent Owlmanac about your website and new(ish) baby. (Congrats, by the way!) I actually kind of met you guys once. You came to speak at Rice’s InterVarsity Large Group one Friday night in 1998 or 1999 I think, and I remembered your names. Also, I think Alicia used to mention you guys once in a while.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I stayed up way too late last night reading the entire blog. Your story is beautiful and heartbreaking. And there are some absolutely ADORABLE photos of James you got there. Thank you for sharing so much with us. My family isn’t going through anything nearly as difficult, but my husband (an Elec major from Rice) has been out of work for 15 months and at times I feel like God has forgotten us. Your posts were good reminders for me to read that we are not forgotten and there is something good God is working out of all of this. Thank you.

    I hope I can be half as good at raising my toddler and the baby on the way as you guys!

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